Hilarious Horse Jokes

Saddle Up For Laughter: Hilarious Horse Jokes

There’s no need to sit around with a long face when there are so many horse jokes out there that are guaranteed to make you giggle. You don’t need to be a horse enthusiast to get these horse jokes either!

Don’t waste your time wondering if horses sleep standing up or why they wear blinders, we’re going to ask the more important questions… Such as, why did the horse walk into the bar? Or even better, why did the horse cross the road?

Whether you’re into competitive horse racing or just like to crack a joke at the stables, saying a few of these one-liners will make you super popular among your riding group.

Just a Little Horse…

  • Why did the little horse gargle? Because it was a little horse!
  • What did the little horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!
  • What kind of medicine do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup.
  • A pony goes to the doctor with a terribly sore throat. However, the doctor told him that he’d be okay, he’s just a little horse.
  • What’s the fastest way to mail a small horse? Use the Ponyexpress.

A Horse Walks Into A Bar…

Ah yes, a classic. You know a joke will be a good one when it starts with this well-known opening line: “A horse walks into a bar…”

Just horsing around

  • A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender says, “We don’t have any special drinks for horses here.” The horse says, “That’s okay, just give me a Long Island Iced Tea. I’m feeling a little neigh-stay.”
  • A dad horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, buddy, you’re a horse! What do you think you’re doing?”. The horse shrugs and says, “Just trying to get some good old-fashioned mane time.”
  • A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman. “Yes please,” says the horse.

Hay-larious Horse Jokes

You can’t help but love hay jokes as much as a horse loves hay.

Ice breakers for the stable

  • What did the farmer say to his horse after a long day of baling hay? Hay there!
  • What do you call a messy stable full of hay? A hay-wire situation.
  • How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? His horse’s name was Friday!
  • Where do sick horses go? The Horse-pital.
  • Why did the horse cross the street? It wanted to see it’s neigh-bours.
  • What do you call a horse that only eats hay? A hay-bivore.
  • What’s a horse’s favourite wine? Chardon-hay.
  • What is a horse scared of getting wet? Because it’ll catch hay fever!
  • What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the floor? Some poor horse is walking around in just his socks!
  • Why was the horse a bad dancer? Because he had two left feet!
  • What type of horses come out after the sun goes down? Night-mares!

Bonus Horse Jokes

  • Have you ever heard a horse talk? Probably not, most horses have neigh-thing to say.
  • When does a horse talk? Whinney wants to!
  • What kind of bread does a horse eat? Thorough-bread!
  • How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse? The police horse goes, “Neigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw.”
  • What did the mother horse say to her foal? “It’s way pasture your bedtime”.
  • Where does the horse live? Mane Street.
  • Maybe she’s barn with it… Maybe it’s neigh-belline.


When is appropriate to tell horse jokes?

If you’re surrounded by people who are passionate about horses and have a good understanding of equine behaviour, they might appreciate a well-timed horse joke. Just make sure it’s not offensive or stereotypical.

Why are horses jokes important?

A good horse joke can bring a smile to anyone’s face, regardless of their age or background. Jokes can provide a shared experience of joy and lightness, especially in the stables. It also allows you to bond over shared interests with other horse lovers!

Can horses laugh?

Horses don’t laugh in the same way humans do, but they do have ways of expressing positive emotions. They don’t share our complex sense of humour and understanding of jokes, so “laughing” at something we find funny isn’t something they do.

Final Thoughts: Trot Off with a Smile

Whether you’re a seasoned equestrian or simply enjoy a good pun, these horse jokes have something to offer everyone. From witty one-liners to classic “A horse walks into a bar” scenarios, these jokes will have you giddying up in laughter. So, saddle up for some mane-tastic fun and share these horse jokes with your friends and family. They’re sure to get a kick out of them!

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